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Here’s a story which happened when I was little. There was a time when I was following my dad back home along some ponds, fishponds. There were quite a number of them, big ones, along the way. We were walking on the ridges among them. Just on sick leave from school, I was hoping he could spend more time with me, but he was hurrying me back home for homework or some learning. We wanted different things obviously, but I dared not tell him. I was just following and also praying in silence that he wouldn’t take me straight home. Or it would be too miserable, as I was sick and my time was being wasted. I took the sick leave for the free time. I wanted to play, even for a while.
I showed an early interest in staying outdoors, hence my deep feelings for fields or farmlands. I got to know all kinds of vegetables, all kinds of insects or bugs, and I was a keen catcher who didn’t care at all if the bugs were poisonous or dangerous in any ways. I just kept catching them and enjoying the time with them. The ponds, yes, they were in the ponds. But it’s quite odd that I didn’t like catching fish. I found the various insects in the ponds particularly interesting, like stick insects, so such environments, harmonious as I felt being inside, were haunts of mine in those days.
It was interesting that my prayer was really answered. My dad said, just a while, we can stay and play for just a while.
I had basically no playmate in our neighborhood. Other kids were kept so strictly that they were not allowed to come out. I was very interested in those things in the natural world, for many years, nearly ten. I even wondered at the time if I had said my inner prayer out loud somehow subconsciously, so, having learnt his kid’s unwillingness to go home, my dad permitted the stay.
This sense of distance between me and my dad or father – not a barrier, there’s actually no barrier between us – it’s something a bit patriarchal that makes me kind of afraid of him. My dad would misunderstand me for many things, sometimes very big misunderstandings. For instance, if he lost something, he would blame it on me and beat me, but actually I didn’t do anything. I was just a little bit afraid of him. He was usually a nice person. It’s just that he was cruel to me, sometimes.
Come to think of it, I was awesome at the time! I was able to learn so many plants and animals. To satisfy my curiosity, I even dug up some plant roots for study. I made a tool to catch all kinds of butterflies. I also had many types of spiders. One poisonous type, I have seen, that knows how to weave letters, but I dared not touch them. Scorpions were also once my captives. Anyway, I just enjoyed my time in the field. For instance, I have even stroked a kind of potato to study its elongate-able fiber, specifically, how long can it be, and the color. But I had no interest in the fruit part; what fascinated me was the structure of it. Whenever I met some beautiful plants in the wild, I would have them transplanted to my own yard.